Is It Hyperfixation or Am I Catching Feelings?

We’ve all been there. You are pretending not to watch your phone for notifications but all you want is to see that special someone’s name pop up on your screen. Our phones are tiny dopamine machines and messages from your current crush are the most potent. So how can you tell if you’re hyperfixated on someone or if you are catching feelings? Knowing the difference can save your relationships.

Hyperfixation refers to when all of your attention is directed at a single person, activity, or idea. It’s common for ADHD brains to hyperfixate as they don’t have a consistent supply of dopamine. Think of the ADHD dopamine supply as a faulty shower temperature dial. It’s either too hot (releasing a ton of dopamine in hyperfixation) or too cold (releasing no dopamine at all for other stuff) but has a hard time staying at the just right temperature. 

When you’re hyperfixated on a person, you might obsessively think about them to the exclusion of getting other stuff done. You might get lost in fantasies and chat with them non stop. Usually, hyperfixation happens either with someone you don’t know, like a celebrity, or someone that you just met, like a new crush. You can cast as many fantasies as you want on them because you simply don’t know them well yet, or at all, which keeps your hyperfixation alive as you can both project your fantasies on them and are likely quite curious to learn more about them too.

Catching feelings gets a bad reputation but it’s actually a good thing and very different from hyperfixation. Catching feelings refers to when someone develops a deeper emotional attachment to someone from what started as a potentially casual connection. It means that at least one of you is feeling open to the possibility of a different kind of relationship, which can feel scary as it makes you vulnerable to being rejected. It’s a good thing though because as humans we are supposed to have feelings about people, even when they may come as a surprise. 

Catching feelings is different from hyperfixation as it’s something that usually develops over time with someone that you are getting to know instead of all at once with someone you don’t know very well. It involves less fantasizing and more relating, less obsessing and more feeling surprisingly cozy. You may feel those tingles of excitement when you have caught feelings because you know how good you feel around that person instead of the frantic vibes of hyperfixation.

Want to learn more about how you can navigate hyperfixation and catching feelings in your relationships? Schedule a free consult with one of our therapists today.