Limerence, a state of intense infatuation and obsession with another person, can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. It’s quite common for people to experience limerence, especially those of us who are ADHD or autistic, but it can get in the way of having healthy relationships as it can take the place of genuine authentic connection. Things can get even more complex when you are polyamorous or practicing any form of non-monogamy.

Talking to a therapist who is affirming of non-monogamy and understands limerence can help you navigate through these relationship dynamics but in the meantime, here are several relationship challenges that you might encounter when dealing with limerence and non-monogamy:

1. Managing Intense Emotions

Limerence can trigger powerful emotions, such as euphoria, anxiety, and even despair, especially when the feelings are unreciprocated or uncertain. In non-monogamous relationships, these emotions can become magnified as individuals navigate multiple connections. The intense focus on one person can lead to feelings of neglect or jealousy in other relationships, causing strain and emotional turbulence.

2. Balancing Multiple Attachments

In a non-monogamous context, balancing emotional attachments is all the more challenging and important. Limerence can cause an often unconscious imbalance where one relationship is prioritized over others. Though new relationship energy is common in ethical non-monogamy, limerence is like the next level of intensity. This can create friction within the relationship dynamics with established partners. Learning to recognize and manage these imbalances is essential for maintaining healthy relationships of all types.

3. Maintaining Clear Communication

Clear, honest communication is vital in any relationship, but it becomes even more critical in non-monogamous arrangements. When limerence is involved, there's a higher chance of miscommunication or unmet expectations. Those experiencing limerence may struggle to express their feelings accurately, leading to misunderstandings or assumptions about their current relationship or the fantasy of a future one. Open dialogue about feelings, boundaries, and needs can help mitigate these risks and foster a more supportive relationship dynamic for all involved.

Understanding and addressing the challenges that limerence can bring to non-monogamous relationships can help you foster healthier connections and emotional well-being. If you are curious about how individual or relational therapy can help you with your relationships, get in touch with one of our therapists today for a free consultation.

Limerence and non-monogamy